Vanity Strikes

I know, I know you're thinking I'm a vain lil' b*stard posing like a sack of potatoes. Yeah I admit my vanity got the better of me when I modelled the new Esprit shirt given to me by Yian Nee. (The original price was pretty steep, but Yian Nee grabbed it during an 80% sales frenzy in Hong Kong). Vanity aside, I'm bulging on all sides literally. Yian Nee says my man boobs are size 39, my middle Kindom has conquered 34 inches of mushy mass, and my bum, don't even mention it.... Fitness First, you suck! After 1 year of hard physical labor, this is what I reap.

How I wish I had the killer abs of Dolce & Gabana's gang rapists (see pix). My new mantra is "six packs, flat abs" -- I wonder how long it will take for me to get those. Dolce & Gabana seems to suggest that any hot chick will willingly open her legs wide and be a chiang chian victim (if you're a "banana", find out from your Chinese-ed friend what this terms means) by some dick head with abs of steel. Wish I had that.